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"No minister of this
Church shall solemnize any marriage unless . . . he shall have
ascertained that both parties understand that Holy Matrimony is a
physical and spiritual union of a man and a woman, entered into
within the community of faith, by mutual consent of heart, mind,
and will, and with intent that it be lifelong."
-- Title I, Canon 18, Sec.
2(b)
The Celebration and Blessing of a
Marriage is an action of the Church as well as an event for a couple and their
family and friends. It is our desire at St. Paul's Episcopal Church to assist
our members as they plan for their wedding so that the preparation time can be a
period of growth in the understanding of Christian marriage and the service
itself a witness to our conviction that marriage was instituted by God and that
God does indeed bless those who make a
sacred covenant with one another in God's Name before God's holy
altar.
In order to
assist couples and their families to begin planning with an
understanding of the regulations and traditions of the Church for
a wedding of beauty and dignity, the following guidelines are
provided.
June, 1993
In General
Under the canons (laws) of the
Episcopal Church, applications for marriage must be made to a
priest at least 30 days prior to the date of the wedding. This is
a minimum and actually leaves insufficient time for proper
premarital counseling required by the Church and the many other
details that arise in planning a wedding. We recommend a period
of four to six months for scheduling a wedding.
The officiating clergy for a
wedding will normally be a priest on the staff of St. Paul's
Church. The
couple should make an appointment with the staff priest they
choose. Another priest may be invited to assist, with the prior
approval of the officiating priest. All wedding arrangements
utilizing the church and its liturgy are under the direction of
the priest, not a wedding director or consultant.
If either party has been
married before and divorced, and the former spouse is still
living, the entire matter must be dealt with in consultation with
the Bishop and depends upon the recommendation of the priest on
the basis of his or her knowledge of the couple. No
less than two months must be allowed for this process between the initial
application and the date of the wedding. Church attendance and
future membership by the couple is strongly sought, recommended
and expected.
Christian marriage is a request
for God's blessing upon a covenant freely undertaken by a man and a woman for
their lifetime. The service for the Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage
(which often involves the Eucharist as well) is a sacrament of the Church. There
are some options which the couple may elect; it should be borne in mind that the
form of the service itself is prescribed by the Church and neither the priest
nor the couple is free to alter the service beyond the permissible options.
The couple should not make any
announcement of a wedding at the St. Paul's Church until they
have had an interview with the priest and have received consent
to proceed. In the event a judgment is necessitated by virtue of
a divorce, no announcement should be made until the Bishop has
signified his permission.
If any priest of the Episcopal
Church has declined for any reason to officiate at a particular
marriage, no St. Paul's Church priest is at liberty to do so
without prior consultation with the priest involved to obtain
consent. It is the responsibility of the couple to make such
circumstances known to the St. Paul's Church priest.
Unless good cause be shown, the
St. Paul's Church clergy will not officiate at weddings other
than in the Church.
Times for Weddings
Weddings can be arranged at
such times as do not conflict with regularly scheduled services.
Sundays and major feast days are not appropriate because of the
full schedule. On Saturdays, weddings are usually scheduled for
12 noon, 3 or 6 p.m.
Receptions in the Church Hall
may not be scheduled after 4 p.m. on Saturdays and must be
concluded by 7 p.m. to allow adequate time for the sexton to
prepare the Hall for Sunday morning use.
Rehearsals are scheduled on
Friday at 4 or 6 p.m. Weddings are not scheduled during Lent and Advent!
Flowers and Accessories
Flowers are appropriate symbols
of joy and life.
All flowers used in St. Paul's
Church are to be approved by the St. Paul's Church Flower Guild.
Plans for flowers should be
developed at least one month prior to the wedding in
consultation with the Director of the St. Paul's Church Flower
Guild.
Flowers placed at the altar for
a wedding are considered to be an offering to God and are used on
the following Sunday as a thank offering from the couple. Flowers
are arranged only once each weekend. In the event there are two
or more weddings in one weekend, the brides will share the cost
of the flowers.
Flowers at the St. Paul's
Church will reflect the liturgical season of the year: Advent,
only evergreens and the Advent wreath; Christmas through
Epiphany, Christmas flowers and greens; and Lent, no flowers or
greens (weddings are not generally scheduled during Lent).
Wedding kneeling cushions are
provided by St. Paul's Church.
Only reserved pews may be
marked by ribbons or modest arrangements by the St. Paul's Church
Flower Guild. Nothing may be taped to the pews or chairs.
Artificial flowers may not be
used in the sanctuary area.
There is usually a frontal and
antependium used on the altar and pulpit. Notification should be
given if a bare altar is preferred.
Wedding Guild
St. Paul's Church has a Wedding
Guild to assist you with the planning and handling of your
wedding. One member of this Guild will be assigned to work
specifically with your wedding. You will be contacted by that
person one month prior to the wedding.
At the rehearsal, the Guild
members will be present to assist the priest.
At the wedding, the Guild
members will be present to assist you and your attendants. Space
will be available for you and your attendants to dress.
There is to be NO consumption
of alcoholic beverages prior to the ceremony.
The groom and groomsmen are
expected to dress prior to coming to the Church and should gather
in the Narthex of the St. Paul's Church upon arrival and at least
45 minutes before the time of the wedding.
Wedding Guild members are
responsible for special seating and formation of the wedding
procession after consultation with the bride and/or mother of the
bride.
Music for the Wedding
A consultation with the St.
Paul's Church Musician should be arranged no later than 30 days
prior to the wedding. The St. Paul's Church Musician will discuss
music possibilities with the couple and advise them. The
following points are to be observed:
The wedding, or the Nuptial
Eucharist, is a sacred service. Any texts that are sung must,
under the canons and rubrics, be from the Holy Bible, the Book of
Common Prayer, or other authorized services, or the hymnals of
the Episcopal Church, or be theologically consistent with them.
The Church Musician is charged
with responsibility for all music at all services in the St.
Paul's Church, including weddings.
The final decision on the
appropriateness of music must reside with the officiating clergy
in consultation with the St. Paul's Church Musician. All soloists
and instrumentalists must be arranged through the Church
Musician. Additional fees for these musicians will be paid
through St. Paul's Church.
The offering of the Lord's
Prayer in the liturgy of the Episcopal Church is reserved for the
entire congregation; thus, vocal renditions are inappropriate.
Rehearsal
The purpose of the rehearsal is
to prepare the wedding party to participate in the service in
such a way as to render praise to God and joy to the bride and
groom. In deference to the nature of the service and to the many
people who must be on hand for a rehearsal, members of the
wedding party are expected to be present and on time.
The rehearsal is under the
direction of the officiating priest assisted by members of the
Wedding Guild. IT IS TO BE CONDUCTED PRAYERFULLY AND REVERENTLY.
Any parties to be held should be arranged so as not to cause
delay, embarrassment, or difficulty for any concerned. Such
events should follow the rehearsal.
Marriage License
The marriage license should be
brought to the St. Paul's Church Office at least two weeks prior
to the day of the rehearsal. Normally, the priest will not
conduct the rehearsal without the marriage license in his
possession.
Photography
The professional photographer
may have a reasonable time following the service for posed
pictures. Thirty minutes is the norm for this activity. Special
arrangements can be made for pictures to be taken before the
wedding, but pictures in the church must be completed one hour
prior to the wedding. No flash pictures may be made during the
service, including the processions, by either a professional
photographer or members of the congregation.
Videotape recordings of your
wedding may be made if the camera and operator remain stationary
and use no extra lights. Placement of video cameras is to be
determined only in consultation with the officiating priest.
The Wedding Guild can provide
names of professional photographers who are familiar with
Episcopal customs and who provide their services for reasonable
fees.
Receptions
The Church Hall can usually be
made available for wedding receptions. Arrangements should be
made as early as possible by telephoning the St. Paul's Church
Office. Receptions in the St. Paul's Church Great Hall may not be
scheduled after 4 p.m. on Saturdays and must be concluded by 7
p.m. to allow adequate time for the sexton to prepare the Church
Hall for Sunday morning use.
Champagne and/or wine may be
served at receptions. No other form of alcoholic beverage shall
be permitted.
Facilities
1. The St. Paul's Church
seats 400 people
2. The Chapel seats 50
people
3. The Church Hall seats
up to 200 for receptions (at tables)
4. The Memorial Garden
makes a beautiful setting for a reception in fair weather
Acolytes
Acolytes are altar servers who
assist the priest by carrying the processional cross, wedding
banner, and serving the altar during a Nuptial Eucharist.
Marriage Preparation
All couples married at St.
Paul's are required personally to visit a priest at least six
months prior to the marriage, when a determination will be made
as to whether or not the Sacrament can be celebrated at St.
Paul's.
Marriages for persons who are
not active members, or becoming members, of the Episcopal Church
will be discouraged except in the most unusual cases. This is
because the Church understands this Sacrament to be not only a
lifelong commitment to each other, but also to God in the context
of this faith community.
Pre-marriage counseling is
required by St. Paul's, the Rector will provide the first session and Dr. Joe
Clift will provide the other four sessions ($35 per session with Dr. Clift).
The Rector will need to meet with the couple again just prior to the wedding to
discuss the ceremony.
Fees
Members of St. Paul's*
There are no fees for the use of
the church or parish hall for members of St. Paul's Church.
*A member is one who has been on
the church roster for at least nine months and who is a regular attendee.
Nonmembers of St. Paul's
Ordinarily weddings are not
conducted for nonmembers. When they are, the cost is $1000, plus the fees for
musician, flowers, cleaning, etc.
Priest - $250.00
Church Musician
- $225.00 (This includes his time meeting in consultation with you to plan the
music, the rehearsal and the wedding.) If more than one soloist and/or
solo instrumentalist requires rehearsal time, there will be an extra $50 fee.
Additional musicians -
Additional musicians
(e.g. trumpet, flute, harp, vocalist, etc.) may be used. The fee for each ranges
from $100 to $125. Arrangements must be made through the Church Musician.
Janitorial
- $45 if only the church is used. $65.00 per person if the hall is used
for a reception. (Number of clean-up persons will be determined by the
size and type of reception.)
Candles
- $65 if you use the seven candle candelabra (as the candles for the candelabra
cannot be reused.) $77 for torch candles. There is no charge for
candles if you use only the altar candles.
Acolyte
- a small honorarium of $10 to $20 for their time.
Wedding Guild
- There is a $200 fee for the Wedding Guild.
Flowers
The Wedding Flower Guild must
be consulted about floral arrangements.
Contact People
Rector, The Reverend Mark
S. Jones
Church Musician, Ken
Williams (436-0196) or Dr. Egbert J. Bacon (888-0129)
Wedding Guild, Mrs. Sue Fletcher,
883-4428
St. Paul's Church Office,
Judy Williams, 436-0196
Counseling, Dr. Joe Clift,
446-1222
Information
Full Name (including middle
name) of both Bride and Groom:
Bride:
Groom:
Date and Time of Wedding:
Celebrant/Officiate:
The Readings (see page 17 of this booklet for
options)
Old Testament Lesson:
New Testament Lesson:
Gospel Reading:
The Wedding Party
(full names please)
Maid/Matron of Honor:
Best Man:
Bridesmaids:
Jr. Bridesmaids:
Flower Girl:
Groomsmen:
Ring Bearer:
Lectors: Old Testament:
New Testament:
The Music
(arrange with Church Musician)
Prelude
Procession 1:
Procession 2: (the bride)
Hymns:
Procession Out:
About
Marriage
"Most people get
married believing a myth - that marriage is a beautiful box full
of things they have longed for: companionship, sexual
fulfillment, intimacy and friendship.
The truth is that
marriage, at the start, is an empty box. You must put something
in before you can take anything out. There is no love in
marriage; loves is in people and people put it into marriage.
There is no romance in marriage; people have to infuse it into
their marriage.
A couple must learn
the art and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising
— keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in
the box will be empty."
J. Allen Person, "Homeward"
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